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So I went to the hospital on Friday with Shinobu, our Japanese teacher. We arrived, signed in, and sat giggling in the corner with the purple orchid plant. A man ahead of us watching the TV kept turning round to look at us whenever the giggles got too loud. There was no particular expression on his face, so whatever hint he was trying to give was ignored.
I had my blood pressure taken. OK. I was given a flowery cup and directed to the nearest latrine. "Is there a lid for this?" I asked. Shinobu shook her head. "I'll just have to not drop it." I presented my cup of liquid to the nurse and was then ushered straight into an x-ray theatre where the nice young man told me to remove my clothes and put on a yukatta. So I had the chore of removing piercings and jewellery, which seemed to take an age. Anyway, Shinobu couldn't come in for this one so I was dreadfully confused by what the guy was saying to me. In the end, pushed up against some wooden frame he had to manhandle my arms into position for me, and very gently moved me about. This is the first time someone has put their hands on me for a long time, so the thrill was rather enjoyable. He he he.
Chest x-ray over I dressed and took a seat in a comfy room for a few mintues, only to be called in to another room by someone calling: "Laura-san!" Shinobu thought this was hilarious as they should have been calling me by the more polite form of "-sama". I went into a room with a nurse who was clearly flustered by my presence as she kept dropping things and was sweating profusely, wiping her forehead with a towel. I had my height taken, weight read, and then a comical eyesight test. I was told to remove my glasses but was unable to see anything without them, so she gave up and told me to put them back on and did the test again. A hearing test followed, then a quick body fat measurement in the comfy chair as she had forgotten to take it before, such was the confusion I caused.
Then I was called in (Laura-san!) to see the "English Speaking Doctor" we had requested. Shinobu stayed in the comfy chairs. I'm a little nervous of doctors, so merely smiled and sat down.
" Do you have any pain in your chest?" he asked, in Japanese, miming bronchitis. I shook my head. I understood that much.
Then he started motioning to his elbow and miming an injection. Do I take drugs? Do I need a blood test? I turned round and looked out the door: "Shinobu!" She came running over.
" Have you had a blood test?" she translated and then answered for me. No.
" Ah, you can speak English," he said, in English.
" Yes, I can," I replied, wondering when this would all be over.
" I thought you were Brazilian," he said, in English.
" Honto? " I replied. "I'm too pale, surely." (Though I guess he made this assumption based on the fact that I am, as the Japanese would say, "Glamour" - i.e.curvy (and here I'm being extremely generous towards myself).
My chest x-ray was whisked in and he sat looking at it for a moment, probably at the same thing I was, which was the shadow of my (comparatively) sizeable breasts, and asked:
" Do you smoke?" in Japanese, miming a dirty old man sucking on cancer sticks.
" No," I replied.
" You do exercise," he asked in Japanese, miming someone with one legging running.
" Yes, I swim, do yoga, cycle, walk." He nodded his approval and then communicated that the pain was now over, by standing up and escorting us from his office.
" Enjoy Ina Matsuri," he said in English. And so I was sent in the direction of reception where I parted with money and received a receipt with my name on:
”ローラクーパーさん” - Laura Cooper-san.
More on actually enjoying Ina Matsuri when I get some piccies off of my phone. As for today's one-legged man running, the pool is full of kids so I shall be subjecting myself to "Billy's Boot Camp".
I had my blood pressure taken. OK. I was given a flowery cup and directed to the nearest latrine. "Is there a lid for this?" I asked. Shinobu shook her head. "I'll just have to not drop it." I presented my cup of liquid to the nurse and was then ushered straight into an x-ray theatre where the nice young man told me to remove my clothes and put on a yukatta. So I had the chore of removing piercings and jewellery, which seemed to take an age. Anyway, Shinobu couldn't come in for this one so I was dreadfully confused by what the guy was saying to me. In the end, pushed up against some wooden frame he had to manhandle my arms into position for me, and very gently moved me about. This is the first time someone has put their hands on me for a long time, so the thrill was rather enjoyable. He he he.
Chest x-ray over I dressed and took a seat in a comfy room for a few mintues, only to be called in to another room by someone calling: "Laura-san!" Shinobu thought this was hilarious as they should have been calling me by the more polite form of "-sama". I went into a room with a nurse who was clearly flustered by my presence as she kept dropping things and was sweating profusely, wiping her forehead with a towel. I had my height taken, weight read, and then a comical eyesight test. I was told to remove my glasses but was unable to see anything without them, so she gave up and told me to put them back on and did the test again. A hearing test followed, then a quick body fat measurement in the comfy chair as she had forgotten to take it before, such was the confusion I caused.
Then I was called in (Laura-san!) to see the "English Speaking Doctor" we had requested. Shinobu stayed in the comfy chairs. I'm a little nervous of doctors, so merely smiled and sat down.
" Do you have any pain in your chest?" he asked, in Japanese, miming bronchitis. I shook my head. I understood that much.
Then he started motioning to his elbow and miming an injection. Do I take drugs? Do I need a blood test? I turned round and looked out the door: "Shinobu!" She came running over.
" Have you had a blood test?" she translated and then answered for me. No.
" Ah, you can speak English," he said, in English.
" Yes, I can," I replied, wondering when this would all be over.
" I thought you were Brazilian," he said, in English.
" Honto? " I replied. "I'm too pale, surely." (Though I guess he made this assumption based on the fact that I am, as the Japanese would say, "Glamour" - i.e.curvy (and here I'm being extremely generous towards myself).
My chest x-ray was whisked in and he sat looking at it for a moment, probably at the same thing I was, which was the shadow of my (comparatively) sizeable breasts, and asked:
" Do you smoke?" in Japanese, miming a dirty old man sucking on cancer sticks.
" No," I replied.
" You do exercise," he asked in Japanese, miming someone with one legging running.
" Yes, I swim, do yoga, cycle, walk." He nodded his approval and then communicated that the pain was now over, by standing up and escorting us from his office.
" Enjoy Ina Matsuri," he said in English. And so I was sent in the direction of reception where I parted with money and received a receipt with my name on:
”ローラクーパーさん” - Laura Cooper-san.
More on actually enjoying Ina Matsuri when I get some piccies off of my phone. As for today's one-legged man running, the pool is full of kids so I shall be subjecting myself to "Billy's Boot Camp".
