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FRIDAY
AM Rollout of bed. Dressing and make-up 1 hour = 50 calories.
Breakfast – One hot black coffee, no suger
Walk to work in ridiculous heels = 200 calories. Repeated falling good for exercising backs of legs and upper arms.
LUNCH
Some hint of hunger felt. Photocopying and post = 100 calories, good upper arm toning.
For lunch: diet coke spiked with vodka from hip flask, one cigarette.
Unlimited black coffee throughout day.
PM Walk home = 200 calories (see AM)
Once at home remove make-up and heat crimpers. Re-application of make-up, hair styling and multiple clothes changin2g = 150 calories.
Red wine = grapes = one fruit portion.
Evening in pub spent bitching, posing. Scowling very good facial work-out = 50 cals.
On way home stop for chips at greasy kebab van. Home. Bed.
700 Calories TOTAL
SATURDAY
AM No AM.
12pm Arise and immediately regurgitate contents of stomach.
Once sure that vomiting has subsided black coffee and two-days worth of Prozac t o get metabolism started. = 50 calories.
Dress, make-up = 50 cals
2pm Bus to town to buy hair-dye.
Walk from bus stop to shop and back = 20 calories.
Stop at Starbucks for Expresso.
4pm Dye hair, remove make-up – 50 calories.
5pm Dry hair, crimp, multiple dress changes, make-up = 150 calories
Peach schnapps = one fruit portion.
7pm Walk to pub in ridiculous heels (see FRIDAY AM) = 100 calories.
Bitching, posing and scowling = 50 calories.
10pm Clubbing. Dancing and posing very good aerobic exercise = 300 calories.
1am Drunken face-sucking with “cute” goth boy = 100 calories.
2am Walk home with goth boy =100 calories.
Sex with goth boy equivilent to 1 mile run = 300 calories.
5am Sleep.
1280 calories TOTAL
SUNDAY
AM No AM.
2pm Arise and regurgitate contents of stomach.
Realisation that “thing” in bed is surely not “cute” goth boy. Fear = 50 calories.
2.30pm Frantic phonecalls to answerphones to ask advice about “thing” in bed = 50 calories.
4pm “Thing” arises, regurgitates contents of stomach, leaves. Fear = 50 calories.
5pm Telephone conversations about “thing” = 100 calories. Good tongue exercise.
Throughout day unlimited black coffee, no sugar.
11pm Washing and mending of clothes, polishing PVC and leather = 100 calories.
Realisation that you really are that pale (worrying but kinda cool).
Sleep.
350 calories TOTAL
AM Rollout of bed. Dressing and make-up 1 hour = 50 calories.
Breakfast – One hot black coffee, no suger
Walk to work in ridiculous heels = 200 calories. Repeated falling good for exercising backs of legs and upper arms.
LUNCH
Some hint of hunger felt. Photocopying and post = 100 calories, good upper arm toning.
For lunch: diet coke spiked with vodka from hip flask, one cigarette.
Unlimited black coffee throughout day.
PM Walk home = 200 calories (see AM)
Once at home remove make-up and heat crimpers. Re-application of make-up, hair styling and multiple clothes changin2g = 150 calories.
Red wine = grapes = one fruit portion.
Evening in pub spent bitching, posing. Scowling very good facial work-out = 50 cals.
On way home stop for chips at greasy kebab van. Home. Bed.
700 Calories TOTAL
SATURDAY
AM No AM.
12pm Arise and immediately regurgitate contents of stomach.
Once sure that vomiting has subsided black coffee and two-days worth of Prozac t o get metabolism started. = 50 calories.
Dress, make-up = 50 cals
2pm Bus to town to buy hair-dye.
Walk from bus stop to shop and back = 20 calories.
Stop at Starbucks for Expresso.
4pm Dye hair, remove make-up – 50 calories.
5pm Dry hair, crimp, multiple dress changes, make-up = 150 calories
Peach schnapps = one fruit portion.
7pm Walk to pub in ridiculous heels (see FRIDAY AM) = 100 calories.
Bitching, posing and scowling = 50 calories.
10pm Clubbing. Dancing and posing very good aerobic exercise = 300 calories.
1am Drunken face-sucking with “cute” goth boy = 100 calories.
2am Walk home with goth boy =100 calories.
Sex with goth boy equivilent to 1 mile run = 300 calories.
5am Sleep.
1280 calories TOTAL
SUNDAY
AM No AM.
2pm Arise and regurgitate contents of stomach.
Realisation that “thing” in bed is surely not “cute” goth boy. Fear = 50 calories.
2.30pm Frantic phonecalls to answerphones to ask advice about “thing” in bed = 50 calories.
4pm “Thing” arises, regurgitates contents of stomach, leaves. Fear = 50 calories.
5pm Telephone conversations about “thing” = 100 calories. Good tongue exercise.
Throughout day unlimited black coffee, no sugar.
11pm Washing and mending of clothes, polishing PVC and leather = 100 calories.
Realisation that you really are that pale (worrying but kinda cool).
Sleep.
350 calories TOTAL
