blacklilly: (moody)
Woken this morning by the creep next door doing his washing at 6.15am.  Later I went out to peek at his balcony, only to discover that he had washed just two shirts.  And they weren't even work shirts, unless he's a lumberjack.  So, I will be launching a counter-attack tomorrow with the building manager, and if that fails, I'm not sure what else can be done, save for inflicting wounds upon the cretin.  I don't talk much about it here, but this dude next door has serious laundry issues.  On the national holiday he did three loads of washing in one day.  Is he washing his underwear individually?  And what the hell does his water bill look like?

So, in a desperate bid to get some sleep, as my brain betrayed me into a mere two-hours sleep on Sunday night, I hit Mike up for some Tylenol PM.  I shall take one in about 20 minutes and then hope that I can at least get eight hours of sleep tonight.  Sleep is becoming a real issue lately.  It goes in fits and starts most of the time, but what I have noticed is that drinking makes it worse, and exercise makes it a helluva lot better. 

My plan today was to quit.  But I didn't do it.  I think much of the sleep problems come from attempting to both find somewhere to live, and find another job at the same time. So the new plan is this (thought out with much help from Mike and the Tuesday morning coffee meeting we conduct each week in my classroom):  save cash, find somewhere to live, quit, move house, work a bit longer than intended at the school (so I can get my bonus) then go it alone over the summer and hope there's enough work to pay the rent.  This is chancing it a bit with the economic situation of the company, but there's little option. And should things go belly-up, I will at least not be homeless.  Mike is gonna introduce me to his landlady and see if we canf ind something suitable and affordable in the Asagaya/Koenji area.

Hmmm, 15 minutes until Tylenol time...
blacklilly: (A Vad Day)
In total, 7 hours sleep out of the past 48.  I'm not quite feeling real anymore. It has distressed me so much that I was sobbing in my bathroom at 3.30am.  Oddly, everything smells so much stronger today... maybe because of the typhoon.

Birthday

Jul. 9th, 2009 09:02 am
blacklilly: (Takoyaki!)
So, yesterday was my birthday, but I wasn't really in the mood for it as I'd had about 2 and half hours sleep, due to a combination of the heat keeping me awake, and finding one of these ugly motherfuckers outside my apartment.  Apparently, they're called toilet crickets, which just doesn't seem to do them justice.  Anyway, it sent me into intense scratching mode, in which I spent much of the insomnia having weird thoughts about insects crawling all over my skin, resulting in much jumping around scratching myself.

Yesterday was a day for much imbibing of sugar.  First, though I had to jack myself up on greasy food (I had a mad craving for salty chips - sleep deprivation actually makes me seriously hungry) so I went to Village Vanguard with Tommy and ate a fish burger with an excellent pepper, tomato and courgette salsa sauce on it.  Then there was ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins:





Afterwards I made spooky looking cups of coffee out of dry ice.  I didn't drink them though, as the coffee at work is made of evil.

Later, my student brought a selection of manju (pictures later) and we stuffed our faces in class.  Then I hit the bar after work.  Loads of people came down to say hello and have a drink, which was unexpectedly nice.  I conked out at about 1am and went to bed, and fell asleep listening to one of the many playlists on my iPod.  So, 6 hours sleep today, which is about normal.

After the sleep problems of May and June, I thought I'd managed to find the cure for the sleeplessness.  Seeing as my brain was racing full of thoughts, I decided to start writing down all the stuff that was flying about, which it turned out, once it was captured, was just boring day to day stuff.  Anyway,   it worked for 2 weeks.  (It may also have had something to do with not getting out of bed on Monday until 5pm, and then getting back in it at 11pm.)



blacklilly: (A Vad Day)
I would love to have two consecutive nights of good sleep.  On Sunday night I had the quite marathon amount of 10 hours sleep, which never happens even on a normal night.  Last night however, I got to bed about 1am, and woke up at 4.30.  I then proceeded to thrash around until about 6.50am (the last time I looked at my clock) before descending into some weird dream about being in a house with someone who looked a lot like Clint Eastwood.  It descended into weirdness, and then I woke up at 8.15 feeling sick.

I'd go to the doctor, as this is now over a month of sleep problems, but I doubt I'd get much sympathy, on account of most people in Japan sleeping about the same amount as me and considering it normal.  The thing I dislike about the effects of all this lack of sleep is not just the on-going grumpiness and misery when I wake up in the morning, but that it seems to be affecting my memory and ability to do things.    I've had three birthdays this month, and Father's Day, and they just slid right on by.  I can't seem to keep anything in my memory long enough to act upon it.  And I completely suck in my Japanese lessons too. 

I have been having fun though, none of which I have the energy to indulge you in presently.
blacklilly: (Gentleman)
I am so fed up of being tired.

I want to go to sleep but I know when I get to bed I won't be able to do so.

Some stupid dating advert is grinning at me from the side bar.

Today I was all cranky and grumpy, and now all I want to do is break things. 

I watched "Hush", probably one of my favourite Buffy's, and the only one to make me jump.

Now what...?
blacklilly: (moody)
It's Monday, which means Charlie Brooker.   Oddly, I spend much of my time lately using my iPod to compile mix CDs for my fellow alcoholics.  Currently I'm working on some "techno" CDs, which aren't really techno at all, but I can just lie and say it's "English techno".

I should, at 10.24am, have been out of the door and on my way to Omotesando, but I can't bring myself to do anything this morning.  Another bout of insomnia last night had me up until 4am or so, and then I still woke up at 8.30.  Would somebody put me out of my misery and send me some Ambien?  The plan in Omotesando is to pick up some new trainers.  I may do it this evening instead, but i can't stand the thought of going now.

Anyway, more later, I'll tell you about Circe Du Soleil.

blacklilly: (Default)
Well, I have (for the third week running) not been to bed until at least 3am. I'm beginning to associate Sundays with general feelings of ennui, pain and an extreme desire for unconsciousness. The sleeping does, however, make up for a recent couple of nights with little sleep. My brain decided recently that 4am is a really good time to start chattering away to itself, however providing me with dreams about snowboarding down mountains in 4x4 vehicles does not make the lack of sleep any more bearable.

Anyway, whilst lying on my sofa, what better thing to do than surf the internet and look at things you can't have. Having recently visited the new H&M store in Ginza (to get into which I had to queue for 5 minutes) I've decided that I need a new jacket (I bought a thick winter coat in H&M). I have my old red velvet jacket, but its too big for me and is starting to look a tad threadbare and ripped. Top Shop has a couple of goodies here, here and here. I think the third one is a little to ruffly for daily wear, though. I'm also coveting this rather nice punky biker jacket. There's a red version which looks super cool, but would look pretty bad on me I think.

As I've now decided that I'm allowed to buy one item of new clothing a month (or maybe two) I'm planning a trip to the next new H&M in Harajuku, which opened yesterday. This also takes me close to the Harajuku TopShop and the various other cool vintage shops nearby.

I have a suspicion that the recent inability to sleep is related to having a pillow which is getting rather flat, and a futon which is not only on a slight slope in my loft, but which is also suffering from the same effects of time. So, I will be in Muji or Don Quixote at some point this week hunting down cheap pillows and some sort of memory foam thing to put on top of my futon. The winter is marching closer and I feel the need to cocoon. This was easy in Ina as blankets and cushions were in great supply, thanks to the various hand-me-downs I inherited. Sadly, I had to abandon them when I moved to Tokyo. But at least I have a kotatsu (that's like a coffee table with a heater underneath, to those who are unfamiliar), which is a thing of joy on cold days.

Tomorrow I'm off to Shinagawa again to pick what I hope will be a 3 year visa. And if so, I'll be coughing up a rather sick-making 6000yen to get multiple re-entry permit, should I ever be able to afford to get on a plane again. Then it's belly-dancing, private classes and a bit of food shopping before coming home to cook for the bento box and study for next month's 日本語 exam.
blacklilly: (Default)
Well, only 8 hours until my flight back to England. As you might be able to tell, I can't sleep. I've just painted my toenails black, possibly for the first time ever at 4am. A pot of tea is brewing, my neighbours are coughing in their sleep and here's an excellent way to pass the time:

Giant marine life found in Antarctica

Giant starfish? In Antarctica, you say? Hmmm...

I may have to dig out "At The Mountains of Madness" for the plane ride home. Or maybe I'll just read the National Geographic that's been lurking around for a while. I hope there are some good movies on the plane, as I certainly won't be sleeping there.

Used to be that the only thing I did at 4am was cry.

I need a new Cthulhu/octopus icon.

Here's to 48 hours without sleep. I hope there's a damn good curry at the end of today.
blacklilly: (Default)
Oh damn you brain!

My second night of insomnia. Not really bad insomnia, just the inability to fall asleep for hours and hours. Lying in bed trying to empty my head of irritating thoughts, but more just kept popping in. I did eventually get to sleep, but have been staggering about this morning trying to get my eyes to work.

Strange dreams too, though not really memorable.

I had a wicked dream on Monday night though, and given I had been drinking red wine until 3am I'm amazed it was so vivid. I was at a party sitting on a square cream sofa with a table in the middle. People around me were talking to each other. A guy comes over and sits next to me. He has long dark curly hair and a top hat. It's Slash. (!). We start chatting like we've known each other for ages and I mention Velvet Revolver, but he's not happy with the band at the moment. Anyway, we carry on talking for a bit.

I wake up at the party later that night. It's dark and I need a wee so I walk through the dark room to find the toilet.* On the way I find Slash asleep. His feet are propped up on the table and his head and shoulders are on the ground, as though he's been leaning back in a chair, but the chair has been taken away.

I told Lucas at school this dream. He said:

"Normally when someone tells you they had a cool dream it isn't at all. But dreaming about Slash? That's cool."

The lovely Lucas finished yesterday and is heading off to Thailand for a month before heading home to Canada. A shame he was only with us so briefly as I enjoyed having someone to discuss literature with. We get a sub-teacher today for two weeks and then our new teacher arrives from the US on July 14th. I felt this was a good date, what with it being Bastille day, but then I couldn't figure out why... So school is almost functioning again. Sometime I'll tell you all the woes of being the only permanent member or staff at school, or maybe I won't. We just need a new manager (doing paperwork in Kanji is impossible for me) and the place might be up and running again.

Haircut at the weekend. Much needed. I even managed to book it in Japanese. And I wasn't drunk. Next week I'm teaching double-comparatives to my super-advanced student. I gave her an example on Tuesday night as a taster: "The more beer I drink, the better my Japanese becomes."

Swimming.


*It occured to me that if I was telling this story to Gideon he would start punning on Slash, and needing a slash.

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